Think about all the things in life that you want to do, but haven’t. Is it a bucket list or it’s-not-in-the-cards-for-me list? Self-compassion, belief in self, and having the courage to be exactly who you are is a journey to get to. But it’s one of the best paths to walk towards because you’re walking on down to true self-appreciation, having the ability to show yourself the love that you deserve.

When I think of this love in active form, I let scenes from Last Holiday play in my mind. That’s right. I’m talking about that Christmas movie with Queen Latifah from 2006. In case you don’t know the plot, let me break it down for you – otherwise, you can click on the title and it will lead you to the trailer.

Queen Latifah lives a modest life, working at a department store that doesn’t appreciate her and scrapbooking away her dreams, never working on bringing them into reality. When she finally connects with the handsome co-worker she’s been absolutely swooning over for a minute, as he asks her out she hits her head. She sees the doctor and discovers that she has only three weeks to live. Not wanting to waste another minute, she quits her job and goes to a European resort she’s longed to visit. There she blows her money, connects with a celebrity chef she’s always admired, and through her newfound love of life becomes a beacon of light wherever she goes.

It’s not the money that changes her perspective, but instead the way she no longer holds herself back from the pleasures that make life magical. Queen Latifah treats herself, takes chances, wears clothes that make her feel fabulous, and no longer worries about her waistline – letting her indulge in all of the scrumptious food she’s always wanted to eat.

It’s at this point that the celebrity chef confides in her that they both know the secret to life: butter.
The meaning being literal – let life be sauteed with butter! – and also metaphorical: when we indulge ourselves in the daily pleasures of colorful foods, exciting challenges, leaps of faith, self-confidence, soulful moments, and joyful experiences with those that we love, we are living life at it’s fullest.

So, not only do I highly recommend giving yourself a treat by watching this cute, feel-good film, I also wanted to share with you 10 ways on how to show yourself the love that you deserve – inspired by the secret to life.



10 Ways to Show Yourself the Love that You Deserve

The ideas I have listed below are treats and experiences I regularly like to practice and recommend often to my clients. What’s great about the list below is that they are activities that you can do by yourself, with a romantic partner, or with a good group of friends. Just dive in, make it soulful, and have a blast!

1. Watch one of your most beloved movies, pairing a tasty meal, inspired by the film, that you can eat slowly.

Example: Moonstruck. Glass of white wine. Salmon angel haired pasta with a creamy garlic white sauce, broccoli, spinach, and parmesan. Demi-baguette with butter. Tiramisu.

2. Ditch your headphones and go to a forested trail to let your heart soar amongst the trees. Bring with you something to pause on while you’re there, like a book or a journal. Maybe bring a picnic.

Example: No wooded areas? Go to a park where you can reflect and have a moment, because that’s what’s about – letting your essence take a breath surrounded by nature; letting your heart bond with Gaea.

3. Spend a day/weekend assembling a beautiful 750+ puzzle, grazing on yummy snacks, and listening to a fictional audiobook.

Example: Ceaco Thomas Kinkade Disney Collection puzzle. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine on audible. Sliced fruit, Angie’s Kettle Corn, baguette, brie, cuppa.

4. Travel to a nearby town you can get lost in for a day.

Example: There’s a city close by that you’ve heard of and can point to on a map, but you’ve never been. Go there. Get to know your neighbors.

5. Give yourself a creative, colorful dish to make. And then savor it.

Example: My favorite right now is corn tortilla tacos with cilantro lime rice and black beans. The tacos vary: white fish, roasted sweet potato, garlic, cilantro, Mexican blended cheese, goat cheese, spinach, broccoli, avocado, tomato. It’s delicious, colorful, and crunchy.

6. Go outside for a brief walk – 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes. Especially when you really don’t want to, or feel like you don’t have the time.

Example: It’s passed 3:00pm and you feel like you haven’t gotten anything done. You’ve watched your third episode of Gilmore Girls, and it’s keeping you from the work that’s calling your name. You want to take a walk, but it’s too “cold.” You’re feeling anxious /or stressed.

7. Tell yourself that it can happen – you can do this. Then take the leap and invest in yourself.

Example: Improv class, online dating, marketing course, that novel you’ve been dying to write, a yoga studio membership, life coaching, career change, rescuing a pet, taking a “real” vacation, etc.

8. Be selfish. Period. Do something that’s just for you and have a total blast doing it! If you’re doing this with a partner, take turns. But make sure you understand and value that it’s your turn – that it’s about you, just in a sharable way.

Example: Order Thai food if that’s what your craving, even if your partner doesn’t like it. Your partner could order their own dish from another restaurant, which could be fun and special to eat together.

9. Clean and go through an “organized pile.” You’ve been avoiding it long enough. Afterward, you’ll feel lighter, the room will feel brighter, and the items in the pile will finally be in their home. I’m sighing with relief just thinking about it!

Example: The stack of papers in the kitchen that keeps getting higher and higher.

10. Dare to do what’s ordinary, and let things be cliche.

Example: I did not want to create a list of 10, because everyone else does a list of 10. But that’s what came out. That’s what I channeled. And I believe in every single one of my 10 items. It’s cliche, but it’s also true to me.