What is it That You Want?, Natalija Pavlovich

Let’s be honest – this is a really hard question to answer. Even if you have a go-to response that lights you up, it may not be actually true to you. Meaning, sometimes we get confused in thinking that what we are passionate for are the things we hold aspirations for. And then there’s that second thought of, how do you go after it? These are just some of the things that Natalija and I get into in this jumpstart of an episode in our new season.

◤ A big part of this episode is Natalija and I reflecting on when we first met and how wonderful it was to be around another being that sparked so much inspiration and introspection out of us. So, get ready for storytime! ▸

NATALIJA PAVLOVICH

It doesn’t have to be this whole, huge thing right off the bat. Because I think that’s how people look at it – like even myself. I thought I had to have all these things, and all this money, and all these — and I’m like, no. Just keep it simple. Do what you love. Put it out there, in the way you feel comfortable. And people who like it will respond. And great – if it does, great. If it doesn’t, it’s fine. Like, it’s – it is OK. As long as you’re doing it because you love it and it’s making you happy, that’s all that matters. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s the truth.

Natalija is an incredibly talented and enchanting designer. Her photography alone will capture your insides and make your spirit feel alighted – or, at least, it does me! During C19, Natalija focuses primarily on set decorating and home staging – which she is, of course, amazing at. But Natalija’s talents are grand and vast – a definite multi-hyphenate creative. She’s a big fan of being outdoors, hitting the road at 5:00am, giving love to thrifted goodies, and drinking whisky. This woman inspires me to no end, and it is an absolute treasure to have her on the show.

 

DEFINING YOUR DESIRES

The conversation that Natalija and I had was really centered around the idea of being around people, things, and concepts that spark you – to let that energy take you forward into stepping into who it is that you are becoming, but to also be discerning about the action it takes to get you to where you want to be.

Defining your desires and understanding what you want in life is a significant exploration that requires time, patience, and a willingness to go through trial and error. And that’s a tricky thing to hold onto with both hands – in fact, a lot of us crash and burn. But then there are some of us who are lucky in being able to catch themselves before that moment occurred. No matter how a chapter ends and a pivot is taken, there is no right or wrong in the way you took on your pursuits. Only new information that leads us to our true sense of alignment.

Knowing what lights you up, what fuels you, and what drives you to take inspired action is to define your sense of I and what you plan on doing with this life that you’ve been given. Your desires are a part of who you are. It’s not necessarily a part of the way you make money or show up on social media. Although that can happen, and there should absolutely be a tie to your passion in your work, not everything you hold a spark for will be a part of your essence, or even be something that you practice for a long length of time.

You desires help you get to the next meaning of who you are. So take them in ease, in flow, and in love.

BE DISCERNING – THE 5 ROOKIE MISTAKES I MADE IN FOLLOWING MY PASSION

Please, learn from my mistakes. But you know what? If you have a fiery urge to pursue this space and learn from experience, it’s probably in your best interest to crash and burn. Think about it? Then you become a phoenix and you rise from the ashes – which is so freaking magical. We should all be so lucky.

1. I announced my ideas to the world as if they were an integral part of my business without first trying them on for size. I felt indestructible and got lost in the value of transparency. I saw so many businesses that inspired me by showing their progress as it evolved, and thought that if I wanted to be successful I had to do the same thing. Clearly, I got some wires crossed.

See, if you are constantly sharing as you walk forward, especially when first starting out, it becomes about proving you took a step instead of flowing with inspired action in your creation. Also, your stability is non-existent and you have to rebuild it every time. Don’t announce as you go, my friend. At least, not without other well-established practices that you can lean on and help support you in your creative pursuits.

2. I did and launched everything at the same time – and when I say everything, I mean everything. This gets you nowhere fast. Instead of walking forward into the person that you are becoming, you get stuck without a paddle trying to keep yourself and everything else you’ve got going on afloat. My advice? Let go of your darlings. It doesn’t have to be forever, but for now, chose 1-3 things and make them your central focus.

3. I pursued all of my passions as a business. If I saw someone doing something that looked interesting to me, I almost immediately brought out my calculator and ran the numbers on how much money I could make doing my version of the same thing. Yeah, not good. First off, not all passions are things you can transform into entrepreneurship. Some of them are just for your spirit, fueling your drive to live life on your terms. #magic

Secondly, my heart was in the wrong place. Yes, get that money, honey. But if money is the only thing you’re consumed with, then it’s likely money will never come to you – not in full. People know if you’re trying to be a Scrooge McDuck. They can energetically if you want a sale or if you want to serve.

And that’s why I am so in love with soulpreneurship – because you’re combining the money and the service of the heart into one blossoming garden that serves the fruit in your life. That’s definitely a conversation for another time. But for now – try out passions here and there as an opportunity to meet another piece of yourself. Don’t go about it with the sole intention of trying to make a buck. Because then you’ll end up with no bucks and no fucks.

4. I fully adopted anything and everything that gave me any sense of spark. And that took the heart out it, almost as instantly as I began. Which then led to me continuing the practice, assuming that if I tried harder, the spark would come back twofold. And all that did was leave me feeling depleted, lost, and like a total loser. This is because when I took things on beyond 100% capacity, it was no longer about the craft but instead about the completion of the task, fulfilling an obligation, or breaking through the pressure I assigned to it.

My advice is to simply try things on for size and take note of how it goes. Nothing more, nothing less. And if you get that urge to take to another level, then follow that inspired action. Let the experience drive you, and not the drive to have a specific outcome be the intent. Think of it as if the craft is something you’re dating. It looks really great on paper, but do you actually click with it? Do you feel the tingles? Is the sex good? That kind of thing.

5. I kicked the dead horse. Is anyone else super icky on this saying? Like, why is this the standard? I know I said this before, but seriously – let those darlings go. And beyond that, let the shit that’s holding you down leave your life. It’s not worth it. As we talked about in the episode, something has got to give. Meaning, if you want to take in something new and embrace a passion, practice, art, craft, venture, whatever – then to be able to give it the attention, the chance, that you deserve, you need to purge and make room for it.

Otherwise, when you hold on to something that is no longer aligned for you, you are essentially kicking that dead horse. Seriously, whhyyy? There is absolutely no shame in letting something go – especially if it’s something that you announced to the world that you were doing. In fact, you standing forward and saying, nah – I’m no longer doing that, making that known will inspire others, increase your vibrational pull, and allow your community to see you in your autonomy. It’s not about chasing the spark anymore – you become the spark.

Here’s the note I want to leave this on: keep it light, make it easy to show up to, and follow what lights you up. You don’t owe anyone anything. The only thing you have to do – to live life to its fullest – is embrace your truth and your sense of I.

 

QUES TO ASK YOURSELF

  • What is it that you want?
  • What brings you joy in creation?
  • What would you do regardless if it made you money or not?
  • What makes life feel full and abundant and magical?
  • What do you collect and take home with you?
  • When you are in a space of comparison, what are you actually inspired by in that moment?

REFERENCES & NEXT STEPS