Escaping the Traps of Comparison

Broken up into two parts, first we go over what comparison culture is and then we get into the long, woeful tale of how I became the person that I am today – someone who transformed from a worthless little nobody to a multi-hyphenate visionary and thought leader.

Spoiler: the heart and the meaning of me telling you of what I grew up in is to show that anyone can break free. You already have everything you need to be liberated right in front of you.◗ ▸

BRITTANY MARIE, YOUR HOST

The way that we think of perfection and the actual definition of perfection are two different things. Really, it just means not having anything without – it just means being complete. And when we think about that, you are a whole person. You are a complete person. In that area, in that context, you’ve already got perfection in front of you. Because you are complete. You already are enough and worthy. And if you try to control that – you try to control your perception on that – instead of accepting that by creating terms on what allows you to become perfect, enough, worthy— Then you’re always going to be in that comparison mindset. You’re never going to think it’s enough. You’re never going to think it’s okay. You’re never gonna be able to sit down and really accept yourself. It’s gonna be harder to connect with your alignment. Allowing comparison to come into your life is inviting struggle, is inviting hardship, is inviting pain.

Cheat-sheet breakdown

We All Live in Comparison Culture

The Good & the Bad in Comparison

Living Comparison Free

WE ALL LIVE IN COMPARISON CULTURE

Anyone who lives in a Capitalistic and Patriarchal system lives in comparison culture. Before going there, first it might be helpful to define comparison. Comparison is the evaluation in contrast between one thing to another. Comparison Culture is an encouraged environment that nurtures the impulse to evaluate and define your worth by how accessible you are to what you hold desire for. Or, in simpler terms, a culture that is built off how you compare your value to the value you see in those around you. Comparison culture is the environmental essence of jealousy.

Because of the way we are marketed at and are encouraged to interact with various forms of sales-based content within this capitalistic ecosystem, our country thrives off of comparison culture. When you also look at the ties the U.S. has with religion, and how there is really no true equal standing for the freedom of religion within our society, we can easily recognize the truth that we live in comparison culture. The relationship of church and state integrates comparison, judgement, and the evaluation that there are others that are considered to have more value. It does so by determining that one religion-based belief system is more moral and wholesome than the other.

I’m sure that there has been a moment in your life where you saw someone walking down the street and suddenly the sight led you to think that they were more attractive than you – or better dressed or had more confidence. This is the triggering of comparing yourself in such a way that puts you down unnecessarily, making you feel less than. If these moments are frequent within your life, then you likely have an active relationship with comparison.

THE GOOD & THE BAD IN COMPARISON

Now, before I get too ahead of myself, I need to clarify that there are good and bad forms of comparison. And it’s important you’re able to tell the difference.

Good Comparison – Comparison has been necessary for our evolution, and thus when looked at in such simple terms, it’s actually a healthy part of nature. For instance, look back at the invention and evolution of the wheel. We had to be able to compare early additions to what we have now. A wooden wheel would not be able to support our automobiles going 60+ miles down the freeway. So we had to transition from wood to rubber. Comparing and contrasting in such a way to help us evolve is a positive relationship with comparison, overall.

Bad Comparison – To make it simple, bad forms of comparison are those that encourage or spark us to form a lesser perspective between one person, lifestyle, or belief system to another. Anything that triggers, traumatises, and belittles you to think that you are less than or that you need to change who you are – that you need to change anything at all – would be a negative comparison impulse.

LIVING COMPARISON FREE

Escaping the traps of comparison is a simple form of action, but to do so is also a lengthy and dedicated process. First and foremost, to become liberated from comparison, you need to understand the difference between good and bad comparison. Secondly, you must come to accept, love, and value yourself as you are. You must learn to have confidence in that you are a complete person and there is nothing that you have to do in order to be enough or worthy. You must accept that you simply are, and do so takes time, hard work, and commitment to yourself.

So, if you catch yourself scrolling on Instagram, or social media in general, and you become triggered – thinking that you have to perform a certain way or you have to release content in a certain way or that you have to do anything at all in order to be seen as valuable and worthy – than that is the trap of comparison. Do your best to accept that there’s nothing you have to consume, do, or behave like in order to become worthy. You are already.

If it helps, I’ve got an affirmation that you can steal: All you can do is all you can do. All you can do is enough, even when it’s not enough.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

  • Comparison culture is an environment that thrives off of their citizens evaluating their sense of value in contrast to those around them.
  • Anyone who lives in a Capitalistic and Patriarchal system lives in comparison culture.
  • Your value is not based on the value of those around you. You are whole, complete, and worthy as you already are.
  • For comparison to be good, it needs to not trigger self-harm and also must help educate on how to take something from A to B.
  • To live comparison free takes time and hard work, but simply it is the acceptance of who you are – leading forward in that everything you do, have, and are is enough, just as is.

        REFERENCES & NEXT STEPS

        • Join the Magic Hour – the first Thursday of every month, where we come together to gab, connect intentionally, and even network! It’s a blast.
        • Wanna know where we got the phrase, step into the person you are becoming? Well, that credit goes straight to Summer Monae, the Youtuber and Manifestation Coach. She is an absolute gem and our episode together on manifestation is sweet sweetness. Check it out!
        • If you are interested in learning more about comparison, I highly recommend checking out Lucy Sheridan – the only Comparison Coach out there.